Saturday night I had the pleasure of attending my brother and his fiancé’s engagement party in our hometown.
Perhaps I should have prepared myself for Adelaide being a frequent topic of conversation but I was so excited to celebrate the engagement that it never even occurred to me. What came next felt like an hours long emotional bomb raid, but when I woke up the next morning I was able to acknowledge that as difficult as the evening had been, these friends and family had given me the most precious gift a grieving parent can receive.

I am writing this post from Texas at my Mother-in-law’s house which sits on a massive piece of land, so far removed that they cannot even see their neighbor’s house. Talk about a fish out of water for this city girl. Throughout our lives we experience natural lifestyle changes: leaving our childhood home, living independently, creating our own family - we move, we learn, we grow. But then there are those lifestyle changes that are so shattering that they become a delineation in time. For me this is Adelaide’s life and subsequent death. There was life with her and there is life now.

Recent efforts to normalize mental health and depression created the now popular phrase ‘its ok to not be ok’. This is a completely valid and important sentiment and one I’ve clung to as I’ve navigated life in recent years - especially during Adelaide’s life. Then, last week, I came across an Instagram post by psychotherapist, Seerut K. Chawla, in which she said, “it’s ok to be ok.” These five small words, eleven letters, hit me with the force of a wild pitch.