All tagged Parenting
Today is Anessa’s 5th birthday! There is not a day that goes by that I am not enterally grateful to call her my daughter. Her addition to our family has been nothing short of transformative. There are also days where I wonder how she has managed to transform every ounce of my patience into bone-tingling frustration.
Through the marketing of Normal Broken, I’ve had the opportunity to listen, relate, and connect with person after person who is facing their unique grief while craving a sense of community and understanding. One of these people, is Tasha Firoza Faruqui, a pediatrician and mother of three, whose middle child, Soraya, has an unknown neurodegenerative condition with no cure. Today, I ask you to sit in the dark with Tasha, Soraya, and their family. To witness their journey and send them the love and strength they need, as they survive with tears on their faces and laughter in their hearts.
I love the holidays, I really do. But the stress of making holiday magic is a lot, on top of, you know, just all the regular life stuff. This week I felt my anger and irritability rise and my usual tricks weren’t working. I was in an ugly cycle of stress, lashing out, and instant guilt. Then during a magical acupuncture session, I was able to find the reset I was desperately seeking, along with some advice that forced me to rethink the way I was managing my emotions. Photo styled and taken by Anessa.
I am in the weeds of hell week (Adelaide’s death day 10/12 and her birthday 10/17) and surviving. I learn something new each year about how to best muster through, but at the end of the day, these anniversaries just suck. So, since my thoughts are never far from Adelaide right now anyway, I’ve decided to lean in and share her origin story of sorts – or at least the origin of her name and nickname - I’m assuming you all know where babies come from at this point.
With still two weeks until the start of school, the kids and I headed to my parent’s house in North Carolina this week for some extended beach and pool time. Even though I didn’t grow up in this house, (my parents retired here ten years ago) it’s hard not to feel reminiscent. Which got me thinking about a blog post I wrote in July 2021, less than two years after Adelaide’s passing: Lost in the Hads.
After years of meetings, calls, paperwork, home studies, filings, and court appearances, Strawbaby is officially, legally, and ceremoniously a part of our family in every way that she has been since the day we met. Because our court date had been postponed numerous times for a variety of reasons, it wasn’t until a couple of days before our ultimate date that the magnitude of what was about to happen fully hit me.
I don’t know how many times people have reminded me of this over the last few years. Both in relation to Jackson having a sick and dying sister and as it pertains to Strawbaby and her tumultuous first few years of life. Until recently, I just sort of accepted this statement as fact. On the surface it appears to be true – but lately, that statement hasn’t sat as well with me and this past weekend I finally figured out why.
“How to be a better support for the growth of those around me has long been the special object of my consideration, and yet, I am hesitant to offer anything more than observations from my own meandering experiences.” While reticent to offer advice, Bud Hager has taught me more than most - and by utilizing some of the most beautiful prose you have read in ages! Please enjoy this new piece from Bud.
It is a wild experience to watch your child grow older. To see them become more independent, which is the goal, of course, but still we grasp at the moments they still need us (or want us). To help with this transition, I got myself a permanent reminder of the little boy who swore he loved me more.
Last week’s post got me thinking about exposing death to children and how those experiences mold them as they grow. Perhaps this was a bit more front of mind because Hayden’s House, the retreat home I attended several years ago that, “provides a safe, tranquil space for bereaved mothers, fathers, couples, children and families to heal and connect together through a variety of methods…” was forced to put their retreat home on the market by their HOA.
“Mommy! Mommy! Can you put your lipstip on me ?!” I put tinted lip gloss on Strawbaby once and have been regretting it ever since.
“When I’m done with my work, ok? Why don’t you draw a picture?”
Two minutes later…
“Mommy, look at my picture! It’s for baby Adelaide! Can I give it to her?”
And there it was. The conversation I knew we would have sooner or later was happening today at this very moment.
Welp, that springtime induced calm and happiness lasted a whole week before the storm clouds rolled in hot and heavy. By Monday morning I was answering for that week of fair weather motivated procrastination. Seriously, how does one family produce so much laundry? And why does sending my children to school result in me having to read and respond to a bajillion emails per week concerning said school?
