Tri-yearly check-in
Today marks the 121st day of the year, which, a little calculator math tells me, is also about one third into the year. So, I thought it might be useful to do a little self-check-in to see where I’m at physically, emotionally, and with my goals for the year. You know, instead of waiting until December and making excuses or feeling crappy about wasted opportunities. But also, to see if my goals still serve me.
We create dreams and write down goals for the person we are in that moment. But asteroids fall, circumstances shift, and we change. It is no longer my dream to be an actress, so my goals have understandably altered since I was 23. It doesn’t mean that I failed that dream. It means that who I am and what I want out of life changed, and thus my dreams and goals were edited.
That’s growth.
That’s healthy.
My current dreams, for the first time in my adult life, no longer revolve around professional pursuits. Instead, I am seeking contentment in the present – which is not to be confused with a slow, passive, or boring life. I still need excitement, travel, and little bit of chaos – and thankfully just being married to Miguel provides me with most of that.
On January 12th, in the Notes app on my phone, I wrote the following goals for 2026:
o Sign with a speaking agent
o Book three speaking events
o Outline a fiction book
o Create a morning routine
o Balance contentment and ambition
Aaand I’ve just realized that by sharing these publicly there is now a level of accountability, and that is mildly terrifying.
So where am I at with these? Well, I am waiting for the video from my TEDx talk to be posted before finding a speaking agent, so that one is on hold. There are other things I could be doing to prep for this one, but I haven’t – and I’m ok with that because that is a sign of me focusing on the final goal, “balancing contentment and ambition.”
For so long I have felt as if I was being held captive by my ambition. I needed to achieve, to be successful, and that meant reaching the upper echelon of whatever career I was currently pursuing. But my definition of success is changing. I can now look back on my life thus far and be really proud of all I have achieved. I may not be a New York Times bestselling author, or a world-renowned speaker, or have raised a bajillion dollars for epilepsy or rare disease research. But if I were to die tomorrow, I would know that I have left the world a little better than I came into it. That I have helped people. And that I think is success.
I am proud to say that I have already booked three speaking events and not only created a morning routine but stuck to it since January. Prior to this year, my mornings have either felt rushed or lazy, and neither really suited me. The most important addition is that once Anessa is out the door to school, I take a strength training class on the Peloton app. Turns out I don’t hate exercising when it involves lifting weights. Cardio, which had been my previous go-to, puts me in an unhealthy mindset of trying to lose weight – not great when you still toy with disordered eating thoughts. Strength training, however motivates me to be strong. Strong is better than skinny any day.
And then there is that pesky final bullet point: “outline a fiction book.” A previous version of Kelly would not have settled for JUST outlining the book. I would have wanted to additionally written several chapters and be working on finding a publisher. But even in January I guess I knew I needed this year to move a little slower than most.
I do have this fiction book in me, and I have loved writing fiction since I was little, but the fire I felt to write this one in comparison with The Luckiest and Normal Broken, just isn’t there. It doesn’t help that before I even attempt an outline or character breakdown there is a significant amount of research to be done and I’m not compelled to do that either.
But I think that’s ok.
Because so far this year, more days than not, I have been able to find some level of contentment. I am learning to separate my emotional well-being from the chaos of the world. I still care about the world, but I’m no longer allowing the actions of lunatics to dictate my mood (most of the time) – which is honestly huge.
I’m making progress on me and embracing peace when I find it. 2025 Kelly would barely recognize me and I’m pretty proud of that too. So, I guess I’ll keep these goals for now and revisit them in a few months. Part of me hopes for stability and that I’m on this same path. But my chaos loving side will be ready no matter what.
ID: Photo of Kelly taken by Anessa. Kelly is wearing sunglasses and a light blue baseball cap with hot pink lettering. She is making a funny face with her tongue sticking out and to the side. She is wearing a green sweatshirt with pink stitching around the collar that reads “dingers nj.”
